Epiphany!

Day 4 of unemployment. Distracting myself until Judge Joe Brown comes on at 3pm has not been very satisfying, I'm finding.  Oh, I can do it, and do it well!  Distracting myself is one of my most refined skills.  But those 2 voices in my head, Whiny Baby and Bad-ass Bitch, continue to chatter non-stop, and it's really harshing my distraction, not to mention confusing the hell out of me.

On the up side, I have gotten out of bed each morning when hubby does, and the first thing we do is make the bed, because I KNOW that unmade bed would attack and grab me the moment I walked back into the bedroom.  A short walk with the dogs, a couple of bowls of kibble, a trip up the stairs to dress (ok, I admit, SOMETIMES shower) and then I'm left with all this free time, reams of lists of things to do (Bad-ass voice) but feeling lost and uneasy (Whiny Baby voice).

What do I want?  Why do I feel antsy? So a little bit ago, I decided to face the music and determine what is it that is making me feel so uncomfortable?  Routine!  In my work life, if it was Thursday, I was doing X.  I need to figure out a routine during these days of unemployment, just like work-work.  Parts of work-work were routine and maintenance-oriented but other parts were available to fill with projects and tasks of my own discretion.  Where to begin?

I checked out Fly-Lady. Blech!!  Who needs another boss at this stage of the game? And those cutesy names she applies to tasks and tools annoyed me from the start. I don't do cutesy well.  Plenty of sites about stay at home moms but I got lost in all the absolute unappealing crap these moms have to handle!  Kudos to moms! Don't know how you do it and stay sane!  Ugh, I just may be left to own devices to come up with a plan, but on the up side, it COULD be done on the couch surrounded by MY three, furry, snugly "kids", I'm betting!  Score!  I'm SO attracted to tasks that can be done with little energy involved!

Unfortunately, house work seems so much more important when you have no time to do it than it does when you have seemingly endless hours to fill.  But yet, I VALUE a clean, tidy home, and there is nothing better to me than waking up to one.  I just need to figure out a way to indulge both voices, be productive and active yet take care of myself and enjoy some of these moments of my new-found freedom.

I think I'm going to go work on that now.  Onward & upward!